“I couldn’t handle life straight up,” John said in the basement of St. John’s Lutheran Church in Westfield.
John said that he would eat a foot-long grinder with a pound of meat, two bags of Doritos, Chinese food then wash it all down with 64 ounces of root beer throughout a day, just to cope with life. If he was feeling particularly drained and needed to get his high, he would order an extra-large pizza at night and eat it alone.
Gradually, this constant overeating began to wreak havoc on his body. In addition to being overweight, John developed irritable bowel syndrome, then eventually type II diabetes. This all happened in spite of himself; in spite of the fact that he was educated, well-spoken and well-liked. John tried to fix the problems, tried eating healthier and dieting, but he found himself still gaining weight and being unhealthy.
This was when he realized that food wasn’t the problem, but rather a symptom—compulsive eating was the problem. John sought help and found Overeaters Anonymous, a 12-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous that has 54,000 members worldwide. They meet in hospitals, schools and church basements and offer support and compassion for those struggling with eating disorders.
Through them, John said that he lost 100 pounds and has stopped needing medication for diabetes.
Now, John drives an hour from Connecticut to meet up with members of Overeaters Anonymous at St. John’s Lutheran Church in Westfield on Mondays, in order to share his knowledge and continue his path of a better life with other members of the group.
“I had to say I’m powerless to food,” John said. The members use first names only to maintain a shroud of anonymity. “Then I had to find meaning in something—if it’s God, this group, this light above—whatever it is.”
John said that people think 12-step programs like Overeaters Anonymous is religious, but he said that you can believe in whatever you want—the success happens by going through the steps and realizing the problems you face.
One way for members to find the success John has had is to admit that food for them is more than just sustenance.
“I chew my drug—food is my drug,” Kathy said, wiping away tears. “Who was my supplier? My loved ones, my husband, my sons. They would buy me binge foods thinking they are making me happy.”
Kathy has found success through Overeaters Anonymous and by realizing that for her, food is a drug.
“It’s not about dieting, it’s about compulsion,” she said. “It wasn’t what I was eating, it was what was eating me.”
There are several ways for people to find relief, and Kathy and John said that Overeaters Anonymous provide those who seek help with several options.
The group will allow you to come to meetings and talk with others dealing with a variety of eating disorders, whether it is bulimia, anorexia, compulsive eating or binge eating. People will share their experiences and talk it out, using the group as support and the 12 steps as guidance. Through it all, members will also be given a sponsor—someone who has gone through the steps and the issues.
The groups also have different structures, from discussions from their “book,” to lectures to step-by-step programs. The key is to provide support through people.
“Instead of picking up food you pick up the phone,” Erin, another member of Overeaters Anonymous, said at the meeting. “You don’t need to know somebody personally. I can call anyone in any meeting and they will help.”
In the end, the group wants people to know about them more, and if you feel that you have an issue with eating that you’re not alone. They contend that in spite of a preconceived notion that in order to have an eating disorder you have to be large, that people from all walks of life and of all sizes can be hit with these issues.
If you want more information, visit either oa.org or oawmass.org for a list of resources and meetings, along with a questionnaire to help you decide if you have an eating disorder.
Note: Photos were not used in this story in order to help maintain the anonymity of the members.
