WESTFIELD – The abuse of a city man at the hands of a trusted priest continues to haunt him — and his entire family — decades later and even contributed to the loss of his job last month.
His family is breaking their silence to tell the story that began before he was a teenager and still affects them today. From alcoholism to mental illness, lost licenses and lost jobs, they are sharing their struggles, heartbreak, and the dark secrets they kept with the hope of inspiring other victims to come forward. Their names have been changed for privacy.
At age 12, John Campbell was the victim of sexual abuse by a local Catholic priest his family trusted and welcomed to their dinner table, right here in Westfield. His parents, Tom and Grace, were avid volunteers in their church and their son John would often accompany them to church events. He was a typical kid growing up, but something changed, something John suppressed for many years.
When he was molested by his priest, John began to act out. It got so bad that Grace brought him to a counselor, but John had hidden his secret so deep that even he could not bring it to the surface until one night in the late 90’s, nearly two decades after the abuse began.
John, working late as he often did by nature of his job, came home drunk and revealed his deeply buried secret to his wife Rachel. His past began to unravel and explained his previous years of drinking and questionable behavior, which became worse after his revelation.
“He told me he had been molested,” said Rachel.
There was confusion in that moment. It was 3 a.m. and Rachel had just been woken up suddenly. John had been crying and clearly drinking, Rachel recalled. By all accounts, that is the night he remembered what had happened to him for the very first time.
“Nothing about this had ever come up in any conversation we had ever had,” said Rachel. But, she said, it explained a lot.
Rachel said that, somehow, John’s memories have begun to come back — usually when he drinks. She knows it is not a healthy habit, but for some reason John’s mind gets relaxed enough when he drinks that the traumatic childhood memories come back to him. Previously, however, he had used drinking as a way to deaden the emotional pain of being taken advantage of.
John was able to narrow down the time period in which he was molested because he believes it happened around the same time that another boy his age committed suicide. He thinks the other boy was also molested by the same priest.
Rachel said she knew John was dealing with something for the entirety of their relationship, and that night brought the beginning of some answers. John’s drinking problem, however, got worse. He had been caught drinking and driving on more than one occasion, and in addition to the emotional and mental toll that brought upon the family, it also caused a financial strain. Rachel and his parents had to foot the bill for his legal troubles and take care of him.
“It doesn’t sound like you go through a lot, but you do,” said his mom, Grace, “You’re going through these things every day.”
Once John remembered the abuse, the Campbells hired a Boston attorney, and his parents went to the Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield to try to get answers. The church, they said, gave minimal help. The only thing the church said they could do was pray for them, rather than giving real support. The Connecticut-based religious order who supplied the priest to the Diocese gave a similar response.
Tom noted that there was no support system to get his son John the help he needed through every stage of his life since the abuse. When John was young, there was little anyone would do because he was underage and had suppressed the memories. When he got older, they were frequently told that he is an adult and can deal with these things himself. Rachel said when John was eventually involuntarily committed to a mental health institution, it allowed him to begin exploring different, more positive avenues to fight his demons. Their marriage improved as a result as did his relationship with his children.
Rachel tells of moments when John was at his worst, actively reliving memories he had long forgotten. For instance, they were once at the church where John was molested when he relived the memory of jumping out a window to escape the priest, who was chasing him.
“To relive through his whole story as he’s sitting there is pretty disturbing,” said Rachel, “As a wife watching your husband go through that, it’s pretty disturbing.”
The Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield recently began hosting “listening sessions” for victims of clergy abuse and their families to start a dialogue with church officials. One such session was held in Westfield in March and some of John’s family chose to attend. However, they left the building even more angry than when they entered.
“They started with their whole thing of saying it’s not about the money. They handed out pamphlets saying they paid money to settle some of the claims,” said Rachel, “I don’t care if they handed out $500 billion — it’s not enough for people.”
When they reached out to the diocese about compensation for John to go to therapy, the church used Rachel’s insurance and paid the co-pay with a promise to pay for some of the premium. However, Rachel said the diocese soon stopped paying at all. Each member of the family said that they were not asking for an absurd amount of money, only enough to cover the medical expenses related to the abuse. An institution that has existed for well over a thousand years with influence across the globe should, in their opinion, be able to handle that.
The Campbells said the diocesan responses to speakers during the listening sessions was to take notes and make promises to be better. The Campbells doubted their promises and thought of it as too little too late.
Tom and Grace said every time someone spoke about their experience and then sat down, the church panel would get up and respond. Tom said their response was “wishy-washy” at best. A lawyer that was present for the church would also give a legal response, saying what can and cannot be proved, rather than giving the emotional support the families came for, according to Tom.
“They don’t want to hear what is really going on,” said Tom, “They hear it with their ears, but they don’t hear it with their heart. They are not hearing what the people are saying to them.”
The Campbells hoped to receive at least some monetary compensation because of the financial impact John still faces today. Between paying the price of the DUIs and his many medical bills, the toll of the abuse reaches every aspect of their lives.
In one incident in 2010, John suddenly up and left in a car without telling anyone why. They were finally able to get in contact with him after he had been pulled over for another DUI, this time in Ohio. John had apparently chosen to take a cross country trip to Arizona to somehow escape his memories. He was fined $2,000 for the DUI and the family had to pay about $10,000 in legal fees. Then they had to drive out to Ohio to get him, missing work in the process. John had to go back and forth to Ohio to take classes required with a DUI. The bills quickly piled up for Rachel. The emotional strain on Grace and Tom continued.
Grace and Tom always felt as though they had been judged as parents for the actions of John, even though it had not been their fault. Grace even said that she felt John blamed them for letting it happen to him. When he was young, Grace figured that getting him involved in the church would be good for him. She and Tom had no way of knowing the betrayal their priest would commit.
According to Grace, the priest had been moved to a parish in Connecticut a short time after he would have molested John. The Campbells today have no idea if the abusive priest is still alive or where he may be living.
The Campbells believe that the Catholic Church has not done enough to remedy clerical abuse. Today, it appears to them that the church is still complicit in the problem. The Campbells’ wish is for the world and the church to know how deeply this affects a family.
“The biggest betrayal is that the priests know about it,” said Grace, “even the ones that aren’t partaking.”
John’s struggles, both financial and emotional, continue to this day. Due to his drinking problem and frequent absence from work, he was let go from his job last month. Decades later, the clerical abuse still affects him and his family.
“It destroyed my sons’ life,” said Grace. “In a way it destroyed our lives too.”
Roman Catholic Diocese of Springfield Public Relations Director Mark Dupont responded to the family’s claims that the diocese is not doing enough.
Dupont said the diocese has typically been very generous with providing counseling services to abuse victims.
“First let me say how sorry I am for what this individual and their family has had to endure,” said Dupont. “The listening sessions held earlier this year were not meant to be a solution in and of themselves to this great pain, but rather a forum by which families like this could directly make their concerns known to the Bishop and diocesan leadership.”
Dupont said the diocese learned from these sessions, “all which were marked by painful testimony given by courageous victims of clergy abuse who shared their stories and first-hand accounts.” These have guided Bishop in changes recently announced to the re-named diocesan Office of Safe Environments and Victim Outreach.
“And we anticipate we will continue to make changes and improvements to our policies and procedures based on what we heard,” he added.
“This listening session aren’t the be-all-end-all. It’s just one step in a larger process that has to take place,” said Dupont.
Dupont addressed this case specifically based on what information he had.
“I can say this was the result of abuse perpetrated by a religious order priest serving in Westfield,” he said. “In such cases, while the diocese might investigate an allegation and remove the abuser priest from any ministry in our diocese it is the primary responsibility of the religious order to provide compensation including counseling services and make sure the clergy member in question is not put back into ministry. Depending on the case, the diocese will participate, and in this specific circumstance when the family reported to us that the religious order stopped paying for counseling, the diocese in fact stepped up and told the family we would cover all counseling costs, which our records indicate when requested we have done. It is not clear what the term ‘hard time’ refers to but I would urge the family to contact the Office of Safe Environments and Victim Assistance…. we sincerely want to help.”
Dupont said any priest with credible abuse allegations against him is “permanently removed from any ministry” and can no longer represent himself as a priest. He added that the Diocese of Springfield takes claims of abuse seriously.
“We regularly communicate with law enforcement regarding complaints that have come to our attention. In addition, the Hampden County DA has a special reporting phone line for these types of complaints which they accept regardless how long ago the alleged abuse took place,” Dupont said.
