WESTFIELD – The Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) held its tenth annual adoption party to connect waiting children and adoptive families on Sunday afternoon at the Westfield Boys & Girls Club, with a grant from the Shurtleff Foundation.
Maurine Albano of MARE and Anne Marie DeVillier of DCF.
Maurine Albano, MARE child services coordinator for the Western Mass region organized the family party, which she said is the most successful way of finding a match for a child. “It’s a chance for them to meet the children, rather than reading the home study,” she said.
Albano said that the majority of kids waiting to adopt are here in western Massachusetts (22%), but only 10% of the population lives out here. For that reason, she invites families from all over Massachusetts and also New York. “We are trying to pull in families from anywhere we can get them to this event,” she said.
Joseph Sandagato, MARE director of communications and public relations, said the family parties, which are run in conjunction with the Department of Children and Famlies (DCF) are child-centered events with a lot of activities. Some of the activities on Sunday included a wood working room sponsored by Home Depot, where the children were making toy tool kits. In the game room next door, there was ping pong, pool and foosball, along with face painting and jewelry making. A Westfield fire engine was also parked outside for the children to climb onto.
“This is one of the best ones we have in the state. We came all the way out from Lowell,” said Lissa Darrigo, a DCF adoption worker who accompanied some children who were playing in the game room.
Sandagato said 80 children came to the event, some of whom were legally free for adoption, and some who were not, but looking for foster families. 70 families also signed up, those who wanted to learn more about adoption, and others who had gone through the training process and were actively looking to adopt. Sandagato said the event was open, and there were also walk-ins.
Sometimes a parent’s rights are already terminated, and the child is legally free,” explained Albano. “More often than not these kids are still in the balance, and most of these families here would foster. This is where most of our matches are made,” she added.
Anne Marie Devillier, DCF Springfield area officer further explained the process. She said the families that have been looking for adoption can meet the children. “We do get matches. The parties are very successful,” she said.
After making a connection, the next step would be a disclosing meeting with the family, where DCF would give the history of the child. After that, the interested family would meet with the foster parents and doctor, if the child is involved in early intervention, and with other people involved in the child’s life.
The family would then start visits with the child. The first meetings would be at the foster parent’s house, or a DCF worker would take them to a playground. The first couple of visits would be with a DCF worker, Devillier said. Then, the child and family may spend an hour or two in the community, and after that invite the child to their home. “It all depends on how the child feels –there is no cookie cutter,” she said.
After the match is made, the child has to be residing with the family for six months before the paperwork can be started, if the child is legally free for adoption. If not, there would be a trial and appeal period, which could take an additional year,” DeVillier added.
MARE Adoption Party at the Westfield Boys and Girls Club on Sunday. (Photo submitted by MARE)
“I love to see families sit down and interact with kids,” Albano said about the parties. She encourages them to speak with all the kids, including the older ones. She said sometimes a family comes in looking for a 5-year-old, but sits down with a 10-year-old and connects.
“That’s what I love, when they make the connection,” said Albano, who has two grown adoptive kids of her own, a son who is 32, and daughter, 28. “They’ve been the best kids,” she said.
What Albano, who has been doing this for 20 years doesn’t want to see at the parties is a child leaving, saying that nobody picked them or talked to them. “My heart is breaking,” Albano said. Her focus will then be on how to make that not happen at the next party. “I love to see them leave with big smiles on their faces,” she added.
At this party, she said a limousine had pulled up about an hour earlier. She said one of the adoption workers from the Eastern part of the state had wanted the four or five older children she had brought to come in style, and feel “super special,” so she got somebody to donate a big, white stretch limo. “That is an amazing adoption worker,” Albano said, adding that the kids felt like “kings and queens.”
Albano was also grateful to the Boys & Girls Club for hosting. “Thank God for the Westfield Boys & Girls club and the Shurtleff Foundation – they sponsor two events a year,” Albano said.
According to MARE, there are currently over 2,800 children with a goal of adoption in Massachusetts. For more information about adoption and MARE, visit www.MAREinc.org, or call 617-964-6273.
