Shirley and Ed had been reading the Faces of Carson stories in the paper. It gave them confidence that they could bring James over to get involved in the Carson programs for adults with developmental disabilities. Shirley and Ed had been fierce protectors of James. Now in his adulthood, he had everything he needed—they saw to it. There were no people in his life who were unkind. In fact, there were hardly any people in his life.
At the Carson program, James was friendly, but apart. He sat waiting in the eating area while others cooked in the kitchen. He sat quietly as the group made decisions about their next trip and project. The holidays were coming up and James was excited to see what everyone would have planned. He looked a little uncomfortable.
“James, we’re headed out!” said his Carson worker.
“Okay. Can I have a hat?”
“Did you bring a hat, James? Where did you put it?”
“No, I didn’t. My mom has the hats.”
Carson staff realized that some of James’ challenges came from just not having practice making decisions and figuring things out. His parents had loved him and protected him, working that delicate balance between love and liberty, erring on the side of protection. And so James didn’t know how to choose what to wear, or what to eat, or how to help make lunch, or how to weigh out a decision. In fact, he wasn’t even sure what his own preferences were. So staff began their work. As James became an active member in the Carson group, he asked staff for help in talking with his parents. He wanted his home life to change, too.
“I didn’t think this is where it was going when we signed him up,” Shirley admitted. Ed took her hand.
“But he keeps telling us that we made him feel safe and he’s ready to grow. It’s just that I… it’s just that we….needed to get ready, too.”
By JAC Patrissi
