Recently, my husband passed away after an unexpected, intense two week hospitalization. I wish to share with your readers our story so that they can be prepared and possibly be saved from unnecessary heartache and financial chaos.
He was still working a full time job, had not signed up for Medicare, and was not collecting Social Security although he was older than 65. Within two days of the event, he was unable to speak clearly, and at 12 days, was unable to communicate at all. After initially expecting him to recover, we were soon preparing for hospice at home, when he passed in one of the hospital Comfort (hospice) Rooms at Baystate.
What kept a horrible situation from being worse, were the legal tools of a Durable Power of Attorney, a Health Care Proxy, and a Will. We also had made sure that the physicians could talk to each of us about the other’s medical issues. Without these legal papers, I could not have directed my husband’s health care in the hospital, I could not have easily signed him up to get Medicare and Social Security, and I could not have scheduled him to retire from his job and chose the retirement plan that we had picked during recent discussions. Instead, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and his employer would have determined what was “best” for his health care and his retirement plan.
Many people feel that they can put off getting these legal tools, because they are young, or they do nothing dangerous, or they are too busy, etc. I am highlighting our story to say no one knows when they will need these tools. For example, during our two weeks in the hospital, my cousin had a close friend who was struck by a car when crossing the street at 4pm. The driver could not see her as he was blinded from the low angle of the winter sun, and the friend eventually died.
So please do yourself, your family and loved ones a great favor. Decide now to protect them by getting these legal documents and by choosing who will speak on the patient’s behalf if they cannot. Additionally, have discussions about quality of life and end of life desires, so that there is guidance in the choices that might have to be made. Given we had these tools, I am at peace knowing I did everything I could for my husband.
Signed, Ruth Aborjaily Bannish
