Editor’s note: 2020. While we have all experienced changes to our daily lives during the past year due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are also hopeful about what is coming for all of us in 2021. On that note, the Westfield News once again asked members of the WhipCity Wordsmiths to share some impressions and reflections for a writers’ series. The series continues with a submission by Iris Alderson of Westfield.
WESTFIELD – Iris Alderson was born 40 miles south of London and now resides in the city.
She has two children, five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
Alderson is an inspirational writer with more than 150 articles in numerous publications, including The Cross and Quill, Decision and Catholic Digest.
Iris Alderson is an inspirational writer who will have a Christmas story published in Woman’s World magazine this month. (Photo printed with permission of the Springfield Republican)
She wrote for the Holyoke Transcript until 1993 and for many years for The Springfield Republican.
Her submission is titled “Through Grief to Gratitude in 2021.”
“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.”
American playwright, Thornton Wilder, 1897-1975
A reporter recently asked several people what they would remember from 2020. No surprise the #1 response was COVID-19. He then asked what they hoped for in 2021. Most said they wanted to return to their normal way of life, visit and hug family and friends, and attend church and other venues without worry or fear.
Reflecting on the past year, 300,000 COVID-19 deaths seem almost too much to comprehend. Too many families are coping through early days of grief, many never having the chance to visit loved ones or even say goodbye.
Several years ago after my husband passed away, I read a quote by Thornton Wilder, who wrote, “The highest tribute to the deceased is not grief, but gratitude.”
At that time I wondered how anyone could feel grateful about anything during those early days of loss. But things changed one morning in a repair shop while waiting for my car to be fixed.
I worried about the cost, could it be repaired, and did it make sense to pour money into what seemed like a losing battle?
While waiting, I browsed through a small digest type magazine and read about a woman who had also lost her husband who was a minister. The new minister and his family needed to move into the Parish House where she, her husband and children had resided for more than 20 years. She had no choice but to find another place to live.
As I drove back through town that afternoon I felt grateful for the home I had, despite its drafty windows, never ending upkeep, and constant repairs.
“Thank-you Lord,” I whispered. “I might not live in a palace, but I am grateful for my home.” I couldn’t imagine if like that minister’s wife, I too had to pack everything and move, especially during those first difficult days.
That evening I picked up my journal that lay neglected for weeks. On a blank page I printed Thornton Wilder’s words on gratitude, and decided to look for one thing each day I was grateful for. I was surprised I found not one, but many and realized even through those early days of grief, my life was filled with countless blessings.
Every now and then I browse through those journal entries, reliving often difficult moments of those early days. Who would have thought I could smile about the morning I decided to return our cable box to the cable company on East Mountain Road, only to be told by the man behind the counter, and in front of a long line of customers, “Ma-am. This is not our equipment; this is your DVD player.” I called myself “stupid, stupid, stupid” all the way home. Journal entry September 3rd, 2012.
I later recalled how after his wife died, C.S. Lewis described those early days feeling as if there was an invisible curtain between himself and the world. That morning at the cable company proved to be just one of those days.
Since then I’ve discovered gratitude often comes in simple, everyday things. It can be from feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, hearing the sweet songs of birds or delighting in those first days of spring. How uplifting feeling grateful for even the smallest of things can be.
I don’t know why or under what circumstances Thornton Wilder wrote those words, but I’m grateful he shared them with the world. They help us not only to see all that is good and right, but also gives us hope that even in our darkest moments of loss and despair, the light will shine for us once again.
