WESTFIELD-For persons who have suffered a loss this year – or even in years past – the holiday season can be a difficult time to navigate all of the hustle and bustle of the next few weeks.
For the third year, Rev. Barbara Hesse of UCC Second Congregational Church on Western Avenue will host a Blue Christmas Service.
“The Blue Christmas Service is held on the 20th of December because that’s the longest night/shortest day of the year,” said Hesse.
The UCC Second Congregational Church will host a Blue Christmas Service on Dec. 20. (Submitted photo)
Hesse said the reason for the service, starting at 7 p.m., is simple.
“Marketers and social media hype the holiday season as being a happy, happy, happy time, and they act as if something is wrong with the person who isn’t happy,” said Hesse. “Well, if a person has suffered a personal loss this year, be it the death of a loved one or the loss of a job, it’s not a happy time. That needs to be acknowledged. People need a respite from all the glitz and glamour.”
The service is approximately 45 minutes and will offer supportive scripture, soft music and intentional periods of silence.
“I have a welcome and there are parts where I speak, but it seems as if those who are grieving don’t want or need one more person talking ‘at’ them,” she added.
A small reception follows the service and all are welcome.
“Some stay and talk, others leave in silence,” said Hesse. “There’s not a right or wrong. We’re here to provide each person with what they need.”
Hesse noted that the first year of the service, three visitors attended the gathering.
“It’s an opportunity for us to be there for those who need it,” said Hesse, adding the second year, 13 people attended the service.
Hesse said she is hopeful that more area residents will attend this year’s service.
“There are many reasons why a person might not be in a ‘holiday mood,’” said Hesse. “Someone might be facing a loss in the upcoming new year, or they have experienced loss in years past. We often think that the loss could be the death of a person, but it could also be the death of a relationship or the tearful acceptance of a new reality.”
Hesse noted that grief comes in many shapes and sizes and few people live the lives portrayed by the Hallmark Christmas specials.
“UCC Second Congregational Church is here to support those who feel blue,” said Hesse, adding, “hence the name, ‘Blue Christmas.’”
Hesse recounted an encounter with a parishioner’s friend recently who had suffered a significant loss two years ago but wasn’t in a position to attend the first Blue Christmas Service.
“Last year, she was feeling better, but not ready to reach out for help,” said Hesse. “This year she’s ready. That’s why we keep having it – if only one person shows up, we’ll still do the entire service for that one person. That’s how important we view this aspect of our ministry.”
Hesse said that the service is still being created and expects to include an opportunity for attendees to light a candle in honor of a loved one.
“If you know someone who has suffered a loss this year, keep them in mind when you send out your holiday invitations and include that person,” said Hesse. “They may or may not attend. Whether they attend or not is not the point. By inviting them, you are showing them that they have not been forgotten.”
Hesse said on occasion she will hear someone prejudge a situation.
“People say, ‘she won’t want to come,’” said Hesse, adding, “ask them. If the grieving person has been one half of a couple for two, three or four decades, it’s particularly devastating to not be included as soon as they’re no longer part of a couple.”
Hesse said the loss can then become twice as painful.
“Ask them,” she said. “If they can make it, they will, and if they can’t, that’s fine. Extending the invitation gives them a chance to make that choice for themselves.”
