To the Editor,
Hi folks…From the previous…I need to add to the list of those Joe Mitchell refers to: Hoose’s Helpers. First I need to thank Garvey Landscapers for all their work, especially: Reid their employee who did most of the work and Mr. Garvey, as he gave a lot of help as well. I need to include in my list Eddie Diaz for his support, and help as well. We have some great people in Westfield, especially those from our city government. And, all their help and I am NOT even in office or running for one.(Hoose Humor). Oh to correct an error Mr. Sperry from WTA is included (I typo’d his last time, SORRY. and that has to be corrected)
Due to its importance, Suicide Prevention week continues a few more comments. Again, with 30 years in the mental health field, and with a lot of academics, add in my own condition; I do have some credentials. The hardest problem is the MEist social norm still in vogue. But, in that it can happen to anyone, anywhere; there needs to be more clarification. We are familiar with PTSD, not only in our military; but, our first responder’s too. Can you imagine the stress of not knowing if a police call could get you killed? Or, in the fire dept., with rescues, or worse? EMT’s where every second counts to save a life? As Humans, with the loss of purpose, self-worth, and social disassociation. . The challenges to adapt to a world that changes so much; so fast. No longer a 1,000 years, or even 100, but in a decade, or less. For me, some bad things helped to create the good thing of being able to adapt. BUT, when it is too much it is too much, and that can be fatal. A quick summary least you think I am exaggerating. At 6, (1954), mom remarried; an alcoholic in the Air Force. We moved to Delaware. I had a teacher in 2nd grade who harassed me as I could and would write; “we learn to write in the 3rd grade, what you think you are better than everyone else?” She also encourage my peers to beat me up. This led me to find other friends. I started to make friends with a Black kid, until my life and my family’s lives were threatened unless I stopped. Then step dad killed someone one in an OUI. Once out of jail, reassigned to California. Mom, got sick of his abuse, called the police, but was told we are chattel and the only Rights we had was to leave with what we could carry. Her stuff, and mine were his.
Back to Holyoke: I had lost contact with my peers, and did not share the interests of others. The times: JFK, the cold war, science breakthroughs, space program, and media access to the world…led me to want to know more; I was, at 12-13 an encyclopedia reader; as they were sold at the A&P for a dollar or 2 a volume. And, the library was my sanctuary. This was not the way to find new friends, instead, I became involved civics and community. At graduation, mom, who was on welfare due to bad health; was told that her benefits would be cut in half I lived there; I would have to move out of state for her to retain them. So much for wanting to go to college. But, I used my networking gov., they changed the rules, but I would have to move out of her apt. Rent and save for college? Mom was able to work with the family to arrange funding. But, 2 weeks prior to finding out if I was accepted to WSC, I was drafted, and WSC told me: no advance disclosures. Irony, once in the Army, I was told that I should never have been drafted due to my pen pals in Eastern Europe, and research in global affairs. But, because of my honesty, I would not be sent home… As said, I, informally, used my real skills to deal with mediating inter-racial conflicts; saved a couple of lives. OK, Honorably Discharged. I was, again, a part of my times…Civil Rights, and Responsibilities, Peace movement, anti-poverty marches, pro-environment. Of course: concerts, driving and hitching across America, my association with bikers, and other tough groups. And, to make it more Brian being Brian, I went to HCC (1974-76): started a Veterans Club, became the student member of their State Board of Trustees, was able to get budget funds restored, and stop a dysfunctional Reorg. of Higher Ed, etc. Wanting to get back into government, went to Worcester State for Urban Studies. Mistake, and here was a real depressor. 1. As a 28 year-old with a lot of actual life experiences, and some real achievements, there were some hostility from faculty; and even a few in administration, as I became the Vice Chair, as the Student member of the ACC (college governing committee). I was friends with Cong. Conte, so when I accidentally did a whistle blowing re: the funding of student loan money…(we did not get any until Oct.) I was broke, the situation became more than stressful, so I spoke with an Admin. Dean, to withdraw that LAST semester, and cancel out my grades; go home and when I had gotten the 9 ELECTIVE credits submit them, and get my degree. OK, did that, (1979-80) but that Dean had retired, and when I had the credits, and submitted them, I was told I needed 9 credits in my major (1978). 1984, Westfield State started an Urban and Regional Planning Dept. OK, go there do the 9 credits in a very related field, and get my degree. BUT, here is the clincher; my grades were not dropped, and were made all 0’s, averaged in my 3.8 became a 1.0. Westfield offered me: take 2 semesters, and if the first is good, take the second, and graduate. Did, and now June of 1985, at age 35, got my degree. BUT, too old, too much time lost.
Anti-gov. folks; have you ever experienced anything as these? Not over yet, I worked in Human Services for venders; and in 2000 for the State. I had incurred massive student debt, for what my income was. 2012, a shift supervisor committed suicide, and I replaced her. We had a few new employees come in. One of the games in Human Services was to find a way to get someone to quit, or be fired, to get their job. I was 64, and had a very good reputation. For the next year and a half, I was harassed, lied about, exaggerated or took out of context anything I said, did not say, did or did not do; cornered to “talk” with the 2, and one time even physically threatened. The guy who was half my age, and twice my strength, got to the manager before I could. Problem: I was a Human Rights person, and refused to allow our clients to have theirs abused; so not popular with management. All this to a point where close to 2013, I had tried 3x’s feeble, but feasible suicide attempts. Had seen a therapist since 2012. By 2013 I did not want to die, got elected Ward 3 City Councilor, and this was my option out. Another defect was that I wanted to stay 2 more years, and to get better percent of my pay for retirement; and with the Governor’s buy out I could have gotten 50%. Oh, and as a Mass. State retiree, I could only get 40% of my Social Security (windfall profits act) that I had earned working 2-3 jobs at a time in the private sector. Can you understand being 65, abused, loss of reputation, owning a house (only the 2nd in my family to do so) with a mortgage, etc. to pay. Not able to afford Vet bills, or other necessities. Defenselessness, helplessness effects. And, being a guy; the emotional losses; along with a loss of purpose, self-worth, value….These can and have happened to many others; we just don’t talk about it. And if we want to, too often there is no one to talk with. Just to get it out. Our youth are experiencing something similar due to our new social norms, where image is more important than we are. But, I see a change for the good coming, but there are a lot who will do their best to sustain controls on our world. But, we, especially us older adults who were of my era. When we believed in our personal and shared responsibilities; and earning it and not just inheriting it. WE need to come to the rescue. Please find a way to help, to care; it is becoming OK again.
Your former Ward 3 City Councilor, Brian Hoose, [email protected]
